Looking for High Level Critique of Chapter 1 > Setting up a female protagonist coming-of-age arc

2021.10.19 20:44 aerinjl1 Looking for High Level Critique of Chapter 1 > Setting up a female protagonist coming-of-age arc

I've been an avid fantasy reader since 4th grade and the Lioness Rampant Quartet (you don't need to back calculate my age...really). After years of keeping all sorts of different people and places in my head, I finally put fingertips to the keyboard and started writing and would love a reality check. I write technical science as my day job but have never written creatively before. It's a totally different beast!
This first chapter (and a tiny bit of chapter 2) is setting up a young female protagonist coming-of-age arc. I've done several iterations of editing on this first chapter and think it's in a good place.
It's a bit dialogue heavy compared to the following chapters, but I have struggled with other variations on this opening-scene feeling too rushed or exposition heavy. I'm not sure it's terribly exciting as a stand-alone chapter....but I'm also okay with that??? I'm hoping the first chapter has some of the slow-burn styling of how Bujold/Hobb open their worlds with some of the simplicity of Tamora Pierce's work. I added a snippet of Chapter 2 to show how the pacing picks up.
I would love feedback on if I'm violating any of the 'general principals of good writing'. I've revised and revisited this first chapter a lot over the last month but my greatest blindspot is my own work. I find myself not making as much forward progress because I come back to obsess over the first chapter.
Thank you!
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2021.10.19 20:44 meyenar Looking for new people to talk to!

I'm a 25m from the UK! Miss just having people to talk to through out the day and evenings! from voice chats, watching movies, gaming, always better in a group!
I'm into: - Gaming - osrs, smite, aoe2 - Movies / tv shows - black mirror, squid game, Dexter, anything marvel (too many to list) - Music - loving my 2000'a punk rock stuff, the nostalgia goes hard, also rap, techno, open minded when it comes to music! - Cyber security student
If you think we'll click just throw me a message, mainly use discord but have other socials too :)
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2021.10.19 20:44 WinterSplinter_ Need Help!

Hey Reddit! I’ve been talking to a girl recently of the last few months, and it’s started to get serious, but there are some things that cannot be ignored. To give some backstory, we’re both in high school on the older end of age. we met online, and had been talking for about a month before we finally wanted to meetup. We went and saw a movie, made out, (she made the first move) got some food, and waked around holding hands for awhile. FOR THE RECORD, it wasn’t awkward at all, and she seemed like she had a really good time, and told me she did too. Now that it’s been a few days though, something seems off, like there isn’t as much energy as there was just a few days before. Usually I’d just chalk it up to lost feelings, but we both literally had such a good time, and it was genuine. What do you guys think?
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2021.10.19 20:44 karrachr000 After 1 Year and 1 week, EVGA Step Up Finally Sent My 3080

After 1 Year and 1 week, EVGA Step Up Finally Sent My 3080 submitted by karrachr000 to pcmasterrace [link] [comments]

2021.10.19 20:44 Sauron3106 My child came out to me as trans today

I said "look, I'm going to be transparent with you"
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2021.10.19 20:44 YslKizzy Ps4 comp regs league week 3 28/32 need a bucs packers lions and Texans

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2021.10.19 20:44 Charlie_Wilkins15 Kawhi Fun Guy

Kawhi Fun Guy submitted by Charlie_Wilkins15 to TowerofGod [link] [comments]

2021.10.19 20:44 Lab_Man_Jago Can I use free to download icons for commercial use if they are edited

I own an Etsy shop where I sell my own 3D printed products such as custom made cookie cutters. As a part of Etsy’s policy, I can’t sell anything which infringe intellectual property i.e. Spider-Man/ Pokémon cookie cutters. There is a website called flaticon which is full of free to download icons and stickers. If I were to download a black outlined icon and ‘trace’ it and then render a 3D model to use as a cookie cutter, could I legally sell that on my Etsy store? I have emailed the website but to no reply. I have looked through their website and the usage guides don’t really help with my enquiry. I have attached a link to their usage guides. Flaticon FAQs Usage Guides
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2021.10.19 20:44 FigoStep Deshaun Watson

So what are we doing with Watson now? It seems like this situation has the potential to drag on for years without resolution, followed by an almost certain lengthy suspension (if not a worse legal outcome for him - carrying on for years) whenever he returns to the league.
What would a reasonable trade return be at this point in a 12 team superflex league, for example? Has anyone moved him fairly recently and what did you get in return? In my case I have him in one league where I’m now quite QB needy and I’m staring to worry his situation may drag on interminably. Curious to see how others are approaching him now during this odd period for him value wise.
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2021.10.19 20:44 Newwales2 UWB on Pixel 6 PRO only

After all thy hype I pre ordered the Pixel 6 until I found out that UltraWide Band is only on the PRO, Stupid decision, even if they added £30 to the cost for the UWB chip I would have ordered but now had to cancel. I can no longer get the Tile trackers with UWB next year either now. So deflated. Once again Google 1 year behind if some tech.
Anyone else disappointed as don't want the MASSIVE Pro version but wanted UWB.
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2021.10.19 20:44 seonlix My birthday wish! I'm not expecting anything, but this community is so kind <3

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2021.10.19 20:44 imbutawaveto My Croton before and after watering. What a drama queen.

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2021.10.19 20:44 JustAnotherTitan01 Crim3wave

Crim3wave submitted by JustAnotherTitan01 to DestinyFashion [link] [comments]

2021.10.19 20:44 thatgirl21 Heartbreaking loss

Last night we lost a wonderful community member and my uncle, Vinnie Stevenson. He was director at EAVES ambulance service and a volunteer Mattydale fire fighter. He made a huge impact in East Syracuse and the surrounding areas.

He was only 51 and left behind a wife and 4 children. He was the youngest of 8 siblings, he had numerous cousins, nieces and nephews. Please pray for our family in the difficult time.
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2021.10.19 20:44 SexyBlowjob Moondrop KATO Review (Pretty Good)

Moondrop KATO Review (Pretty Good) submitted by SexyBlowjob to DankPods [link] [comments]

2021.10.19 20:44 TrueNorthAmerica Sudbury Consortium cancels 7 bus routes due to driver shortage

Sudbury Consortium cancels 7 bus routes due to driver shortage submitted by TrueNorthAmerica to 10Provinces [link] [comments]

2021.10.19 20:44 lss_bvt_and_01 LssTest-ImagePost-66684

LssTest-ImagePost-66684 submitted by lss_bvt_and_01 to LssAutomation [link] [comments]

2021.10.19 20:44 drakelineous [WTS] Warne 30mm Skeletonized Mount (MD)

Mounted on one AR and replaced with a Unity. Pretty low salt, only one slight scratch that I can find. $85 shipped.
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2021.10.19 20:44 oilBaron2 Laser Cutting Service Looking For Feedback

I am starting a laser cutting service, and I wanted to ask current customers that use laser cutting services to make some of their products/items what they like about their current manufacturer and what additional things you wished they also did?
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2021.10.19 20:44 Kyshawn_Lol Interesting, still having withdrawal symptoms.

I stopped after two weeks of 37.5MG and that’s enough for my sensitive body to get withdrawal symptoms unfortunately. Happens everytime. But man i stopped 15 days ago and I’m STILL having withdrawals. Like i still feel like I’m on autopilot on some days. And my vision is till blurry, and i still have the sleep hallucinations plus the brain zaps and vertigo. Interesting drug indeed
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2021.10.19 20:44 EmperorCareBear420 Is there a way to tax a corporation without that tax just falling to the consumer?

Title says it all
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2021.10.19 20:44 meteoritee GBBO Live Discussion - Week 5, German Week! [19/10/2021]

Good evening everyone and welcome to week 5!
Last week was dessert week. Maggie had an absolute nightmare which saw her crash out of the competition, while Chigs had a great week which saw him get a Hollywood Handshake!
Here are the contestants stats as at the end of week 2:

Baker Observations Hollywood handshakes 🤝 Technical challenges won 🏆 Star baker crowns 👑 Week eliminated
Amanda - - - - -
Chigs Made an awesome biscuit snooker table 🤝 - - -
Crystelle Leaves a right mess - - - -
Freya Junior Bake Off reject - - - -
George Has some cool ideas - - - -
Giuseppe His children have no faces 🤝 🏆 👑 -
Jairzeno All over the place - - - Week 2
Jürgen Everyones favourite - 🏆🏆 👑👑 -
Lizzie Served Paul a mini wheelie bin, and icon - - - -
Maggie Prue’s dopplegänger - 🏆 - Week 4
Rochica - - - - Week 3
Tom He had a mare - - - Week 1
This week is German week, so it’s basically as rigged for Jurgen as Bread week was for Guiseppe!
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2021.10.19 20:44 SimsBuilder Why are half the MF people in my resturant removing their shoes? This is not proper behavior in a fancy establishment.

Why are half the MF people in my resturant removing their shoes? This is not proper behavior in a fancy establishment. submitted by SimsBuilder to Sims4 [link] [comments]

2021.10.19 20:44 quote_emperor cartolina-aforisma-georges-bernanos-26

cartolina-aforisma-georges-bernanos-26 submitted by quote_emperor to aforismiecitazioni [link] [comments]

2021.10.19 20:44 Faction_Chief @USATODAY: USA TODAY reporters spent months compiling a complete accounting of the building and the clues leading up to its collapse. https://t.co/h8clq89v1C

@USATODAY: USA TODAY reporters spent months compiling a complete accounting of the building and the clues leading up to its collapse. https://t.co/h8clq89v1C submitted by Faction_Chief to NoFilterNews [link] [comments]